


Wishing

by theoreticalpixy



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 23:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6260677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticalpixy/pseuds/theoreticalpixy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's a soldier, he signed up for this, but being near her makes him want to change fate.<br/>-  Post 1x12</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishing

She remembers him and Oscar wants to throw out the entire damned playbook.

He’s not going to. He’s a soldier and he’s not going to jeopardize everything they’ve worked for, this insane plan and all he’s already sacrificed for it.

He won’t.

But he wants to.

It’s so hard to see her like this, to get these tastes of her yet know the woman he loved is lost somewhere and likely never to return. He fights himself every time and to touch her hand is like he’s 15 again with the way it lights up his skin. If he’d been a normal 15 year old that is, but he hadn’t been, and neither had she, and here and now he hands over a pen and it feels like flying in some stupid lovestruck way. He holds on a few seconds too long.

It also feels like falling. Like crashing. Like she’s something he won’t ever get to touch again. Like if he doesn’t hold on she’ll be gone forever. Maybe she already is. No, she is. He knows she is. Remi is gone and he has to accept that. He thought he had right up until the moment they spoke.

A few words had been all it took to know that no, he hadn’t moved on, not in any way.

He dreams of her. Like this, with marks upon her body and he wonders if she will ever let him love her again. 

He thinks of touching her skin and kissing her lips. He thinks of holding her. Simple wishes. He thinks of her smile and of the way she arches an eyebrow. He thinks of her laugh. He thinks of her crying because that's what he’s wanted to do since this began. He hasn’t let himself. She must have. Lost and alone and afraid. They did this to her and now she was alone. The last thing he wants to see are tears on her face yet he thinks of it. He knows it’s happened. It had to.

He wishes he could have been there. To hold her and make promises but those days are gone. He can’t be her comfort anymore. Maybe Weller will be or maybe no one. Maybe in some distant fate she’ll let it be him again. He shouldn’t wish and hope, but he does.

He wishes a lot of things these days and then he wishes them gone. He can only let himself focus on the mission. He can’t throw out the playbook, he can’t turn back, he can’t allow himself to do anything but move to forward down this road. He owes that to all she’s given up. She’s so much braver than any of them.

He tells himself all of this; he bargains and lies and convinces himself that the mission is the only option, but at night he dreams, and it’s always of her.


End file.
